The Spider and The Fly

"Will you walk into my parlour?" said the Spider to the Fly.

"Don't you think I'm handsome, and won't it be nice if we could be friends?"

"And see! See the muscles I have on my eight spindly spider legs! It's slightly freaky, but I'm convinced that it makes me look macho. Looks and brawn. Isn't that a great combination?"

"I may not have basic conversatinal skills; my minimum in a conversation is about 5 minutes, covering topics like how I have the hots for you, how hot other women are, and the weather. But I'm good at giving you loads of unwanted attention, and making you feel like you're some sex object, as well as giving insincere compliments loaded with sexual innuendo. This is my defination of charming."

"And I have a fast fast car! So fast you'll miss me whizzing by if you blink. I was stupid enough to spend loads of money fixing it up (I want to be an ah beng boy racer you see!). And hopefully, it'll work as a fly magnet as well. You won't believe the amount of attention my car and I get. It's really good for my ego and my self-esteem. You won't believe how much attention I need just to feel good."

"And I like feeling good. I think the word is narcissist. Olivia taught me the word. She says it refers to someone who likes himself a lot, and that sounds like me exactly. And that's exactly what I plan to do with my life. I'm going to do every damn thing that makes me feel good. Never mind if others feel lousy because of my need for instant gratification."

Having heard all that, the Fly turned a contemplative eye to the Spider, and replied "Well, if you think I'm as dumb as the original Fly, you've got another thing coming. Plus I'm not the vain type, so who you trying to sucker?! You're not even as witty and clever as cunning as the original Spider. You're a poor fake, and I can tell it from a mile off. Why am I even wasting my time having this conversation with you?!" And a toss of her pretty little head, the Fly was off, in search of more interesting and worthwhile company.

For the original Spider and Fly, go to http://ingeb.org/songs/thespide.html