I want to be a big tree!

The worst thing to be, is to be weak and helpless, when a loved one is suffering.

Pain and sufferings is no respector of persons. It can afflict the richest, the strongest, the wisest of us all. And there is nothing we can do to prevent it or to lessen it.

It has happened to the best of us. We've seen our family, our friends suffering and in pain, whether physically or emotionally. And the worse thing about it is, there's nothing we can do to make it better or make it go away. We can only offer our feeble help at allievating all that they're going through.

Human beings and our pathetic limitations.

I remembered standing at my father's death-bed, watching his body lie there, growing colder and stiffer by the minute, as the body heat slowly seeped out of him, and watching my mum mourn his death. I remembered watching my friend weeping because she had lost a precious relationship. I remembered an old friend telling me that her husband wanted a divorce.

And all those times, I remembered feeling so helpless and so inadequate, and wishing that I can do more than just stand there and stare stupidly. I could offer no shelter to those who needed shelter from the winds of grim reality and pain blowing around them. I could offer no place of rest for those who were battle weary and tired and needed a place to recuperate. I was not strong enough to offer support to someone who wanted to lean on my strength, so that she can find the courage to go through whatever crap life has hit her with.

And then it hit me, I could offer no help, not because I wasn't willing, but because I was incapable and weak. I am like a pathetic little sapling. I had yellow withering leaves that could offer little respite from the strong glare of the sun, from those seeking shelter under it. My stem was too soft to even support myself properly, much less act as a tower of strength to those who need some place to lean on. My roots were shallow, and could hardly gather enough nutrients to feed myself, much less be a resting place for heavy heads.

It was then that I decided that I wanted to be a big tree. A tree that was strong and capable and big enough, so that all who come to seek rest and shelter will be able to find peace in my shade.