Weird Meanderings...

If anybody wants to make me suffer, here's how...

Put loads of people in a tiny studio flat. Make sure there's at least 3 people squashed into per square foot of space.

And then switch on the TV, and up the volume to drown the murmurings of conversation taking place.

And then switch on the hi-fi, and turn up the volume to drown the TV, which is in turn masking the voices of the people.

Put me in the middle of these people. And better still, make sure there's a good mix of the following types of people: snooty la-di-da types, the bimbo types who go "oohhh...I alway thought eggs grew on trees!", the sleeveless tight T-shirt guy types who put on rouge..

What I will do is very simple. I will stand frozen for about 20 seconds. But in my head, I'm actually running like a headless chicken, going "Let me out of here! Let me out of here!"

But being the clever cool person that I am, I will get a hold of myself after a while. I will turn off the hifi and the TV, and shoo everybody out of the house after screaming at them like some mad banshee.

Quite the party pooper aren't I?!

Actually, I don't mind the party! But why is the hi-fi and TV both switched on at the same time in a room full of people?! What is wrong with the picture? Nobody is watching the telly and listening to the hi-fi. Switch the damn things off!

There was this story about some guy being stuck in the elevator for 3 days and 3 nights. I shudder even to think of it.

Now I'm imagining - being stuck in a lift full of people, for hours, or even days. I'm weeping at the thought.