The incredible M5

I love watching Top Gear.

I love watching the ever-funnily wry Jeremy Clarkson, although he's definitely pretty lacking in the looks department.

I love watching cars that I can't afford.

I love watching fast cars zooming all over the place, although I don't understand half the stuff he's talking about, since I'm by no means a 'car person'.

I love the feeling that these cars give me. It's like flirting with fire, because however much I lust after them, I'm not even sure whether I'll dare drive them even when given a chance. The amount of pure sheer power and energy that emits from the car's engine from a mere tap, no not even a tap, from the teeniest nudge on the accelerator is enough to send your head whirling and your head spinning.

I was just watching Jeremy Clarkson introduce the BMW M5 over the weekend.

There were other cars of course, but it was the M5 that captured my imagination.

I don't care what they say, I still think it's a bee-yoo-tee-ful car, just by virtue of it being a M5.

And there's this one button in the M5, which is pretty much the same as the red 'launch' button on a space rocket...

...There is only one feature in the M5's electronic armoury that's good; it's a little button marked with an M on the steering wheel. Quite what M might stand for, I have no idea. Motorsport? Mohawk? Mombasa? I like to think it might be M*********** because that's the effect it has.

In M********** mode, this car is pretty hard to describe. But 'perfect' will do for the moment. The engine, which sounds like a diesel when you start it up, is transformed to a machine of unparalleled brilliance, churning out such a prodigious amount of power that there is simply no let up in the speedo's rate of climb...

We are talking about a machine that maximises its full 507 horse-power. (If you can't imagine what 507 horse-power feels like, just imagine the car being pulled by 507 sturdy strong fully grown horses. That's always how I envision horse-power in my mind.) To grip that amount of pure power in my hands, I think I'll happily give up being the ruler of the universe, assuming that I actually have that choice to choose between of course.

Sigh...

Anyway, what on earth does M stand for?!