My rigorous daily exercise regime.....

6.15am
The alarm clock rings. It's time for the 1st exercise of the day. With a practised arm, I fling the alarm clock at the wall at the far end of the room. The wall has already registered my best javeline clock throws, with the deeper dents and cracks giving testimony to the prowess of my arms.

6.35am
After 15 more minutes of snooze time, it's finally time to do The Roll. With a swift roll, I've rolled myself off the bed, and landed with a loud thud unto the floor. As always, my precision is to the exact millimetre, and I landed on that same exact spot on the floor which I've fallen for the last don't-know-how-many years of my life.

6.35 - 7.00 am
The Sprint! Within 25 minutes, I have to take a shower, wash my fair, clean my face, brush my, teeth, wear my clothes, put paint on my face, grab a glass of milk and sprint out the door into a waiting taxi! It used to take me 45 minutes, and I've managed to shave 20 minutes off. I deserve a gold medal for this!

7.30am
Cardio work-out starts. As I open up the mail-box and sees the long list of emails from the client, my pulse started to pick-up. With every email that I open up to read, my heart rate increases until I reach my peak, and I go into over-drive. At this point, my heart is racing. My blood is coursing through my veins like rally cars in a Grand Prix race. My ears are pounding with the blood rushing to my head. The adrenaline surges, and I start to hyperventilate.

8am - 12pm
To further improve my body's stamina, extra training is required to make sure the body is in tip-top shape, and able to survive high surges of stress and frustration. Long conference calls with many many parties involved are the best form of circuit training. It improves stress and irritation stamina, hones your abilities to sift through talk that doesn't mean anything, and teaches your body to go through the motions with the fake laughs and insincere compliments.

12pm - 5pm
Interrupted bursts of short trainings. Short sprints up and down from first-level office to the 2nd-lavel office. Quick curt conversations which sends pulse racing and blood pressure climbing. Polite squabbles which teaches the art of passing lie detector tests - by appearing calm on the outside while boiling with rage on the inside. Also, more meetings and more phone calls from the clients.

5pm - 11pm
A frenzied race to the finish! I had better work harder and faster than I've ever worked in my life at this point! Because the client wants everything now, now, NOW! No mercy! No sleep, no dinner, no food. They just want it NOW!

Adrenaline rushes through the body like flood waters. Surge after surge of adrenaline courses through the body, as I type frantically at my computer. The heart beats unrelentlessly, trying to keep up with the adrenaline surges. Electrical pulses sparks within the brain, as the brain attempts to squeeze out every once of creativity and idea to meet the deadline which is lit-up in bold neon lights in the conscious mind.

At the final burst, as the brain activity climbs to the climax, the brain lobes almost tremble with the activity of it all. With cranial activity reaching to the hilt, it is almost threatening to explode into millions of bloodied pieces of flesh strewn all over the floor like some CSI episode. I finally threw in the towel, flung up my hands in despair and collapsed into a heap unto the floor.

There! All done! Finally. I can go home.

1am - 6am
I toss. I turn. I flip. I kick. I bite. I dream. I laugh. I have nightmares!

After 6 continuous ideas of horizontal exercising, it's time to wake up again!


So you all now know how I keep my figure so perfectly....