Ah Girl under construction.....

I was going through a phase in the last few weeks. My friends told me I've been behaving even more strangely than usual. I seemed to have gone fron just plain wierd to freaky wierd - with my anti-social behaviour, my incoherent rambling conversations, and my meanderings on my blog. (Hey! Maybe I'm slipping into insanity!)

Maybe it's because I've had too much time on my hands, and thinking too much. Maybe it's the series of incidents that have transpired over the last few months that have provoked my dormant brains and exposed certain issues in my life that need taking care of. Maybe it's that time of the year for deep self reflection. maybe it's because I'm fast approaching the big 3-0 and I feel the need for an internal overhaul of sorts. Whatever the inexplicable reason, be warned that I'm currently in hibernation mode....

Throughout this period, I've undergone a journey of self-discosvery of sorts. What I've realised and discovered about myself has been more shocking and sobering than anything else. The picture on the outside may have been pretty, but on the inside, it's a festering of all sorts of issues, attitude problems, character flaws and bad habits. The stench from the all this rubbish is overpowering and I'm almost gagging from it. And if not taken care of soon, this festering rancid mess will soon eats its way through the rest of Me, turning what is good into that which is putrid and rotten and bitter. Things I've been running away from, acting like an ostrich , thinking everything's a-ok just because my head's buried in sand, but not realising that my big fat butt's sticking out for the world to see!

I've been believing in illusions, the fool I am, instead of keeping my eyes firmly fixed on what is real, and having my feet planted on firm and solid ground. I've been thinking myself invincible, and smarter and better than I really am, not realising my own pithy pathetic limitations, choosing instead to play with fire. (For all you children at home, take it from me, if you play with fire, you will surely get burnt!) And instead of cherishing and appreciating all the blessings in my life, I've been neglectful and conptemptous of all the wonderful people who have been such a great help and support, and have been there for me all my life.

I could go on and on. The list is endless really. And I'm humbled, really humbled by the amount of work that needs to be done in my life, to transform me into a decent human being. Really. I am surely a "work-in-progress" right now, and i'm in dire need of a major re-constructive effort. An effort involving the placement of good strong values and principles as firm foundations; the re-fitting of new thinking patterns and mindsets; the sandpapering and filing away of rough edges of old bad attitudes. The brand new Me will be able to stand firm and strong against all the elements.

Like the classic tale of The Three Little Pigs, how we build is important. Otherwise, with a huff and a puff, by the hair of my cheeny chin chin, we can easily be blown over and collapse into a heap of dust and rubble.

So, for now, Ah Girl is currently under construction. be patient with me, because I am still a "work-in-progress". In due time, I will unveil myself to reveal a spanking brand new and gorgeous work of art. Just you wait and see....

Disclaimer: I know there are a lot of mixed metaphors in here. But what the heck, are you the author of this blog, or am I?!