My greatest fear....

My greatest fear is coming true... I am becoming BORING!
*Throws myself on the floor in a hissy fit, heels kicking and fists beating against the floor, with face scrunched up into a constipated look, and emitting a high-pitched soundless scream*

I blame the good life that I have been enjoying. Too much sleep and good food, and the visibly decreased lack of opportunities to make fun of and to harrass and drive people up the wall, have caused my brain to atrophied and become soft and mushy! (Like a big soft marshmellow! Yum!)

As a result, my witty sarcastic and acerbic comebacks have become less forthcoming and definitely mild, too mild actually. People think I'm becoming nicer, but no, the truth is, I'm actually becoming stupider, thus explaining my recent spate of "niceness" and my mild, lame, out-of-the-mill and colourless remarks in any conversation.

How how HOW?! HOW?! I don't want to waste away into a giant walking marshmellow, with no original thought to call my own, and only quoting liners verbatim from stuff that I watch on TV. With nary a single original or creative thought in my little marshmellow brain, with the eyes of a dead fish that are glazed over and unseeing, with a personality that is colourless and lifeless and merely feeding on other people's vitality and personalities, just like a feeding parasite.

OH MY GOD! The very thought is disgusting, repugnant! I think I rather kill myself than to live like that! Somebody please just kill me! *Bangs head on the wall*

WAIT! I think I have a cunning plan! I think I will make it my life's mission (well, at this point anyway!) to just bug the living daylights out of my friends, to feed off their elixir of life. I will talk to them on MSN, I will bug them over breakfast, lunch and dinners! Watch out! The big giant Parasite is out on the prowl for victims to feed off, to suck the juices of life out of them! Muahahahhaa!!!

Disclaimer: The author is at this point suffering from severe duress as a result of too much play. The author should resume normality once she starts taking the madness suppressants that have been administered to her by friends who can no longer take any more of her madness.