Thursday, January 19, 2006

Will the real Me please stand up?

Am I who I really am?

Or am I subconsciously, or even consciously, playing the part of the person I want to be, and not who I really am.

That sounds a trifle convulated doesn't it?!

That thought popped up in my mind when one day, faced with a situation which was slightly uniques, I responded or reacted totally out of character. I ask myself thereafter, now how did that come about? Do I have a hidden alter ego who is just waiting for the first opportunity to surface? Do I have a Mr Hyde to my Dr Jekyll? Am I being Me, or am I just pretending to be somebody else?

So, the question remains, who am I? Will the real me please stand up?

It is trully a scary thought to find Myself being exposed in front of Me like that. I am starting to see a deeper, darker, and an inexplicable side of myself that I've never seen before. I've exposed myself for the little fraud that I am! (Don't judge me! Aren't you guilty too of being a fraud yourself?!) I was actually quite traumatised by myself. So, after having seen reality for what it is, what's the next step? Do I continue faking it? Or do I make adjustments? And how?

I think, at the end of the day, despite all that I've said, I still value honesty, sincerity, nobility blah blah blah above everything and anything else. (I told you I was stupid!)

In the meantime, until I attain that heightened state of enlightenment or whatever you may call it, will the real me please stand in the corner and face the wall, until she can behave herself!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

freaky. we're were both thinking similiar issues at the same time?!!