Happy birthday to me!

I wanted to title this entry "Where's my birthday present?!", but I thought I should try for a little subtlety.

So, everybody, where's my birthday present?! It's already late, considering that my birthday's over. (For those of you who don't know when, you deserve to DIE!) So it had better be a good belated birthday gift that you're giving me!

How's that for subtlety?! *grin*

Birthdays have always been a non-event to me. I always tell my friends that there's no need to celebrate it, no need to buy me gifts, and that it's the thought that counts.

Well, this year, I changed my mind! I want my birthday to be celebrated! I wants presents, lots of it! I want the day to be declared a national holiday! I want as much fuss made over me as there possibly can!

(I think it's a sign of old age that I need my worth and presence on this earth to be validated by all and sundry.)

And here's my birthday wish list for the year.. Who wants to make my dreams come true, put up your hands!
- My very own yatch (No sharing mind!)
- My own toy boy (E's going to get that for me already!)
- Silicon breast implants
- Lifetime supply of high calcium soya bean milk (Who can get me just a cup! I'll be ever so grateful!)
- A song named after me (It's NOT fair that Niang and E's got songs with their names in it! I also
WANT!)
- I want certain people to grovel in front of me, and beg for mercy. One of them's obviously the one who forgot my birthday! (Off with his head!)

Well, obviously, it's a far cry between my fantasies and reality.

Here's the current pressies count so far...
- A book from Niang (First present of the year!)
- A whole carton of my favourite plain biscuits (PLAIN! Not even double chocolate chip deluxe or something!)
- Pending gift from E. She's getting me my very own toy-boy. So there won't be a need to share with her.
- Pending gift from Wee (After some threatening 一刀两断 our friendship! Blackmail is so useful!)
- I think I should make Garfianc give me a gift too.
- Then I might as well get Yeo Yeo, Addy, Old Mama and YY to get me gifts too. I can threaten them also. Especially Old Mama and YY since they cannot come for my birthday party!! (Grrrr!!!)

But I have been getting a lot of birthday treat requests. Their devious cunning plan, is to gather as many people as possible into one gathering, so they each pay about fifty cents of my meal (I eat like a bird you see, a big bird! Hahah!) Next time I have to make sure that these birthday treats are on a one-on-one basis, so they can last from birthday to birthday.

(Oy you people! Remember my birthday cake and candles! I want my cake to be in the shape of Big Bird ok!)

I can just imagine the amount of flake I'm going to get upon posting this entry. I'm so screwed. I'm going to get retribution big time when their birthdays roll around. But it's all worth it! Hahahaha!