In the mornings when I wake up....

In the mornings when I wake up, is when I'm at my most lucid, and in a state of oblivion...

And therein, lies a most obvious contradiction.

It usually takes me ages to wake up in the mornings. In fact, I think I don't wake up until the afternoons roll around. So I'm usually walking around oblivous to all and sundry; half-awake, and giving half-awake answers.

The lucidity that strikes me in the morning is something that I've not yet learnt to handle. I seem to see and feel things more clearly and intensely in the mornings than at any other time of the day.The few first few moments of my waking up, I'm besieged by the most intense and sharpest of all sorts of strange emotions, sometimes leftover remnants from the dream I had the previous night, or just emotions that I carry around all the time, but which I managed to conceal with layers and layers of effective camouflage.

In the mornings, I'm awashed by feelings of great sadness, fears, and longings, all intermingled together. I ache, I desire, I miss, I love, all with the most incredible intensity, so much so I wish I can sleep forever and not have to wake up....


At some point of writing this, my mind began to come alive. I remembered the fairy tale "Sleeping Beauty". I think she was actually happier being in that state of deep rest and sleep, than to be awaken by some pamby namby kissy lips Prince, and then to be married 'happily after' to His Highness Mr Pretty Face, which probably means looking after the big baby and cleaning up after him.

If I were her, I think I'll rather stay asleep....

PS Somebody should prevent and stop me from blogging too early in the mornings, when my brain is still not functioning; the rubbish I write! Good grief!