Is it just me?!

I've been feeling guilty.

Because the things I should be doing I don't want to do. And the things I should do less of, I keep doing.

Examples of things I should be doing that I don't feel like doing, or am not doing are: 1. Work 2. Work 3. Work

And the stuff that I should be doing less of, like sleeping, shopping, spending money, sugar binging, swimming (they all seem to start with "s"!), I just want to do the whole day long!

Like right now, when I rightfully should be putting in my eight hours worth of hard work for my employee, all I want to do is to go to sleep, or shopping. Even better still if I can go both at the same time. But with things the way they are i.e. I need the money that comes from the job to put bacon on the table, and can't afford to get sacked, I just have to be contented with blogging during office hours. And thinking of legitimate ways to actually not have to go to work.

Lest you think I'm the skiving conniving unethical employee, I am feeling that teeny-weeny bit guilty about not doing work lor! It's just that I seem to have gone all stupid and dumb and incapable of writing comprehensible slides about marketing and campaigns and product launches and what not!

Speaking of being dumb and stupid, I now come to the second point of "Is it just me? Or can anybody else relate to this", which is, I'm feeling dumb and stupid.

Or maybe, it's not just a feeling, but I am really dumb and stupid.

These moments of self doubt are there all the time. It's almost every other minute that I go "I shouldn't have said that, or done that."

I shouldn't sneeze. I shouldn't run. I shouldn't smile. I should smile more. I should talk softer. I should have been firmer. I should take a bus. I should take MRT. I shouldn't take MRT. I should walk. I shouldn't have walked, it's so hot. Well, you get the idea...

Sometimes I wonder, is this normal? Am I suffering from an undiscovered mental condition? Do people ever stop obsessing about anything and eveything? Boy it must be nice to feel like I'm right all the time.

So, the question is, is it just me?

I guess I'll feel better if it's not just me and that everybody else goes through the same thing too.

Then the next thing is, I'll feel depressed that everybody else seems to be handling it better than me!

Hahahahahaha...

Oh dear I'm becoming as Obsessive Complusive. *scream*