Make Me Lose Control

Some people say God speaks to them face to face, or through angels.

Well, I feel like God is speaking to me through Grey's Anatomy.

I love Grey's Anatomy. Absolutely, totally, head over heels. I've never felt this way about any other televesion drama before. :)

Well, I've been watching it, again, the re-runs they show on cable. In this episode, Meredith and Christina's secrets finally come undone.

Secrets. Everybody has them. Even the ones you think tell you everything.

You think you know someone, someone who's been your friend for years, someone whom you're living with, but you thought wrong.

Everybody has secrets. Everybody.

And sometimes, we do our darnest best to keep them secret, just because.

In fact, sometimes we don't know what's the big deal in keeping these things under wrap. What does it matter if people know. But we do anyway.

Secrets. Everybody has them. Everybody's entitled to them.

Maybe it's all about control. Letting loose what was originally a secret means letting it spiral out of control in other people's talk, in other people's minds. And we sure as hell don't want that.

Because we care what other people think about us, about our lives. Meredith didn't want people to know her mum had Alzeimer's. Christina didn't want people to know she's pregnant.

Because it matters to us. It's important to us. And because it matters and it's important, we guard these things closely, until they become what's known as secrets.

And we don't let go. We never ever let go. We dare not let go.

And we grow all rigid and unyielding and paranoid about secrets. We become afraid we'll get found out.

No one likes to lose control. It’s a sign of weakness.

And still there are times when it just gets away from you.

No matter how hard you fight it. You fall. And its scary as hell.

Except there’s an upside to free falling. It’s the chance you give your friends to catch you.

Maybe it's time to do some free falling.....