Wanted: A Body

These are some things that hold true for me.

- It's never my intention to be an insufferable bitch.
- I don't like feeling angry.
- I really don't like fights either.

So can somebody explain to me why I am in this situation where I am feeling so angry I could literally hurl and even though I really don't like it and I tell myself to cool down and try to be objective about things (whatever that might mean), what I really want to be is to be yelling what I really think, all rude things of course.

It's well and good to tell me I should cool down blah blah blah. I know that, and I've tried to, but it didn't work. I've tried watching TV and reading to distract myself, going to sleep in the hope that I'd feel better after waking up the other side of the bed as Ozymandias suggested. But they all didn't work.

And of course there's the possible collateral damage, that even though I try not to bring the lousy mood I'm in along to the next person, the next person usually does get some of the crap, on account of me being jumpier than a grasshopper on a trampoline.

Usually, when I'm in "one of those moods", I usually go away by myself until I'm better so that poor innocent passer-bys, like Ozymandias, won't get the tailend of a possibly vicious and sarcastic tornado.

But at the same time, what I really need is someone to distract me from all that, with possibly a discussion about his screenplay or an invitation to go be a busybody at that person's wedding, or a mention of my favourite food. That usually helps me put aside the problem, until it surfaces its ugly head again, like the monster under my bed, which visits every once in a while.

But what I really wish is for someone whom I know I can be honestly confess that I have something on my hands I can't deal with, and to possibly just let me rant until my head clears. Or better still, tell me what the heck is my problem because I sure as hell don't know. But the honest and real response of most people, not that I do blame them because it's not fun spending time with a sarcastic bitch, would usually be "Please take your problem and go somewhere else with it". And I usually try to. Really! But I couldn't find anywhere else to go with it this time round.

So, does anybody know someone who is for hire and charges a reasonable rate per hour?

PS And NO Ozymandias, this is NOT about YOU either! I'm just quoting your very quote-worthy conversations.