Laundry Day

I think people should be allowed to walk around without clothes. Just because I don't like doing the laundry. That is, I don't mind stuffing things into the washing machine and into the dryer, especially since I like peering into the little "port hole" the washing machine has and seeing a whirl of colours go round and round and round and round, but ironing is such a chore!

Laundry can be fun sometimes, because you never know what you're gonna get. There are occasions I open the dryer and out comes confetti or a string of what-not, and then I realised I've left tissue paper somewhere in some pockets, and they've all decided to mutate into this interesting mess. Other stuff that've gone on a spin include; pens, coins, sweets, keys. Pens, coins and keys make for a very musical dryer spin, especially if there're at least a handful of them in there. Sweets dissolve in water and leave an interesting shade of purple, bright pink, electric blue or whatever shade of colour your candy is on your clothes. The effect can be quite psychedelic if you do it right.

Then there's this thing I call "the Laundry Multiplier Effect". Never heard of it? It simply means, the longer you leave your laundry un-folded, un-ironed, the bigger the pile grows, because clothes mate and have babies. I assure you, you will find things you never expect to find in your pile of laundry which you've been procrastinating over ironing for so long.

And you know the clothes that so-called requires no ironing. Well, they're all LIARS! If I were living in America, I'd have sued their non-ironing asses!

I know my machine can take a load of 5kg. But how on earth am I suppose to know what 5kg of clothes feel like? Oh and I suppose washing machines are about as weight conscious as the rest of us, and the Heidi Klum look is very in with washing machines right now? "Oh, I feel so fat today. I really need to stop taking so much towels which absorb so much water, making me feel heavy and clumsy". And that's why every washing machine insists on having that metallic sheen which was made popular by the Ariston Secrets fashion show. Maybe every piece of clothing should come with a label stating their weight, when dry or when fat, so I can figure out exactly how many of those I can put into the washing machine. Well, I suppose what results from an overweight washing machine is funky smelling clothes, and that's why I've been smelling strange lately.

I hate to think of the laundry involved when I start wearing clothes again. I'm right now wearing as little clothes as I can, dispensing with the unnecessary with the pithiest of excuses. Like "Who needs a bra when it's so hot!", or "Who needs socks when I can wrap my feet in newspapers.". And my favourite, "Away with clothes! Let's just use paint, and they wash off so easily!".

~o is going to buy stocks in paint companies.