Do I really have to?

A) Wash the dishes
I've a good mind to just buy paper plates and eat off them and thrash them straight away. But then again, I'll be accused of being un-green, which is what, blue? Or how about wating off leaves, or out of the cooking pot? Or do I really have to cook? I think I'll just hire someone to cook and wash the dishes after that. Hey, I think that's called "going to a restaurant". But I don't like having to dress up and go to a restaurant! And anyway, I won't be able to since I don't want to do D and E.

B) Exercise
And the answer is Yes. Because my clothes don't fit. But hey, if I don't wear clothes, then I don't have to do D and E, which is a plus point.

C) Blog
Now if they only install one of those voice recognition software in these things. When will technology be able to find solutions for my sloppy living habits? What's the use of finding cures to nose bleed when I still have to use my fingers to type! Get on with it already!

And no, this is not "blogging", this is "complaining"!

D) Do the laundry
Laundry goes really well with "This is the song that never ends. It just goes on and on my friend..." because THERE ARE ALWAYS CLOTHES WAITING TO BE WASHED! What's the deal with it anyway. I really recommend going all natural so you save water and detergent and energy and the ozone layer's going to love you. Now if they only build apartment blocks that are more than a arm's length apart....

E) Iron the clothes
I'm still waiting for creased fashion to be "in". When when WHEN?!

F) Be nice
I'll be nice now, but I'm not going to be nice after I die. So be warned. "Being nice" is too tiring. So that's why I'm sticking with people with whom I'm allowed to be rude with and to call names like "dumb ass" and "ooi"; as well as other rude things like "go away" and "don't be stupid". It just makes life easier and I don't have to worry about "hurting people's feelings" and "offending their (paper-thing) sensitivities". Life's too complicated as it is, with A, B, C, D and E. So go away already!

G) Stay away from......
Sweets, cheesecake, ice-cream, fried potatoes, salty buttered popcorn, tiramisu, brownies, mad men, stupid men, too-young men, jealous girlfriends, cookies, lasagne, pizza, cream soups, curry, pancakes, full cream milk, burgers, thick juicy steaks, ozymandias' scrabble game, tortillas etc etc etc.

YES.

Otherwise, it's like loosing the equivalent number of calories as a needle in a haystack.

And that's also why I find it hard to be F; no sugar.