"Are you ok?"

"Are you ok?"

Am I ok?

My knee-jerk response is, I'm not sure whether I'm ok. What on earth does "feeling ok" feels like? If "feeling ok" is what I think it feels like to feel ok, then I'm not ok. 

In fact, I've never been ok. Ok, maybe once in that rare perfect moment that almost never happens, when the moment is perfect, you feel perfect on the inside and on the outside, you feel like things could not be better and there's nothing absolutely else you want, or nowhere else you'd rather b, or no else else you'd rather be, and no other food/drink/weather/location you'd rather be doing/feeling/thinking/touching.

Who in hell ever feels ok? There's always something wrong, something lacking, something that's missing, that's lacking, a worry that's nagging you, a something you've forgotten, a niggling at the back of your mind, something you're kicking yourself for doing or saying and something you're kicking yourself for not doing and saying.

It's always never ok.

So I'm not ok.