Poked by Nostalgia in the eye

Invoking memories is like eating dodgy food. The food in question looks and smells dodgy, and something at the back of your mind screams "Noooooo!" and the same something tells you you're going to be feeling so sorry and regretful and sick and stupid in a couple of hours time, but you eat it anyway.

And true enough, not too long later, you find yourself feeling sorry and regretful and sick and stupid, whilst hanging over the edge of a toilet bowl.

Dumb asses. Sorry. Well, I didn't mean you, I meant me.

Seriously, why do we put ourselves through this nostalgic merry-go-around?

To be fair to myself, I didn't drudge all all those best-to-be-forgotten memories myself; somebody else brought them up during the course of conversation, and as a polite person, I had to sit and listen and REMEMBER! What was I to do, how on earth do I stop the spontaneous popping-up of images in my mind as he persuaded them out of hiding by his talking?! What chance did I have?

And so they materialised in my mind and whispered in my ear and tickled my fancy and my imaginations. I was stoked by Perhaps and Maybe and What-If and got lost in a world that is not my own for a while.

At first they slide easily into your conscious mind as you savour the flavours of memories at their beginnings - of new experiences, people experimentations, exploratory conversations, furtive looks, fresh sounds, tentative touches. The initial thrill of remembered memories soon slide further into the unfolding of grotesque revelations. If you don't stop there, you slide further into the abyss of the churning up of all related and associated memories invoked to feed the nostalgia which has since transformed into a monster hungry to be fed emotions and memories that soon leaves one shrieking and moaning with the horror of unwanted memories.

And before you know it, memories come in an upwash and you hurl memory after memory which were suppose to be deeply buried and forgotten. And you find yourself feeling sorry and regretful and sick and stupid.

And there my analogy runs out.