Mr Potato Head

I've been masquerading as Mr Potato head in my MSN. You know that potato being with detachable eyes, ears, moustache, and limbs which you can dissemble leaving only the literal potato torso? Oh I forgot, Mr Potato Head has his very own wardrobe, not as extensive as Barbie and Ken's, but still decently consisting of a hat and shoes. 

Mr Potato Head has a very respectable existence, appearing in Toy Story 1 and 2 and besides, also having his very own, albeit short-lived, Mr Potato Head Show. He even has offspring in the Potato Head Kids. Quite notable success, but at the end of the day, when everything that is an appendage is removed, what is left is just really, a potato.


Which brings me to the question I've been asking myself, if I were a potato, what kind of a potato would I be? Unfortunately I'm not familiar with the different varieties of potatoes; I only know fried potatoes, baked potatoes, and mashed potato, but that doesn't give me an excuse for not answering my own question: what potato am I if all my potato parts are removed? Or to put the question in simpler terms, what will I be like if I didn't have the baggage, mindset blocks, attitude problems, defensive behaviour, suspicious cynicism that I've collected, like potato parts, throughout my life? I started as a cute 3.5 pound clean slate of a baby after all. There's no sure evidence but there were some reports that I was cute, curious and good-tempered as a baby. So, what happened along the way? I'm so used to the person I know myself as now, I won't be able to even imagine what the non screwed-up version of me will be like. Will I be happier, smarter, prettier, more well-adjusted, skinnier? Can I still find out? 


Theoretically, I can still find out what the "real" me is like. And how? By removing all the bad behaviour I picked up along the way, and I'll be as good as new. Theoretically. Practically, I'm not sure how that's going to happen. When bad habits have been with you a long while, they somehow become part of one's personality. I mayn't have started out suspicious and un-trusting, but if I encourage that sort of behaviour long enough, I will end up like that. Like what I have become recently. Oh crap. How? I don't want to die a bitter old hag. 


I don't know how yet. Because just as I tell myself to stop behaving a certain way, I start getting tested on my resolutions to revamp myself. *Hey cut me some slack here, You Up There!* Which I guess makes it all so much more interesting (Hmmph!) for me learning that lesson, and I guess, makes the lesson more deeply learnt. But still, that doesn't mean I haven't been complaining under my breath. Unfortunately, knowledge doesn't necessarily make for real self-awareness, and self awareness doesn't make for real action. 


I don't even know how to end this post. I could end with some trite cliche but that is too simplistic a representation of life's vicissitudes; or is it because I'm not determined enough to effect real change? Is a desire for change enough of an impetus to create that change? I hardly think so, for I've seen many others as well as myself, keep doing the same thing we tell ourselves not to do, only to do it again the very next moment. Human beings can be so noble and wonderful and amazing sometimes; at other times, they can be so despicable and low-down and well, just useless.I'm talking myself into a bind here, but hey I'm being true-to-goodness honest about well, very real human dilemmas. 


I shall stop talking behind I get stuck in a mental bog.


I just realised there're a lot of "I don't know" in this post!