Deep Blue Sea

Treading, treading, treading...

I kick out at the knees in a rhythmic fashion, taking care to sync my kicking my with breathing. And not just normal breathing, but the kind of breathing one uses while swimming - sucking in air and blowing out through my mouth instead of through the nose.

One has to get into the rhythm of it, because there's no telling when one can get out of the water onto dry land, land that allows for limbs to run and jump and to somersault and to wave and swing and punch, effortlessly. Here, in the water, time, with motion, seems to move at a retarded space, and everything else with it - breathing, movements, pulse.

Soon, I realise I can take it even easier, with languid kicks and a mere fluttering of the wrists. I sink a little lower with the decreased effort, but with my nose still peeking out of the water. I feel relaxed, even drowsy

in the still coolness that surrounds almost the whole of my body. I feel the washing in of cooler sea water with every swish and flutter of my limbs, as new water comes in to replace the old that I'm waving away. It's as if the sea is constantly caressing me, stroking me, brushing away the tiredness, the confusion, the hurt, with all of it being carried away with the flow of the currents. I can hear the the quiet murmurings of comfort with my hears, as well as the gentle massage of my ears, my ear lobes, my ear drums.

At least, the parts of myself that I've immersed in its great mysterious depths.

I can feel the top of my head and the apples of my cheeks turning red and hot with the heat of the sun. Such a thin line of sea foam separating the cool from the heat. I start to imagine what it'll feel like to have the cool currents sweep across the top of my head and my hair, with my hair swept into disarray by the churning of the waters. Such a delicious feeling, to be away from the heat. Why stay in the glaring uncomfortable heat of the sun when it's so easy to slip into the refreshing coolness of the water, to float away into oblivion.

Why am I treading water? Why not just let the currents take me where I want to go? Why do I want to be above water with the heat, the glare, the noise, the confusion when beneath the surface is calm and quiet and peaceful coolness?

The sea will keep me cool. The sea will keep me quiet.